Abby Barnes, M.S., CCC-SLP
As parents, we’re surrounded by advice, guidance, and recommendations for raising healthy, happy kids. It’s easy to worry that you’re not doing everything “right.” So if your child is a late talker or doesn’t seem to be on track with their language skills, you might feel concerned. Some parents wonder if they caused their child’s speech delay.
If you’re thinking along these lines, set aside the guilt, and don’t panic! In a family where children are engaged with and cared for, speech problems aren’t caused by parents. But there's a lot you can do to help your child at home. Let’s discuss the role of parents in a child’s speech development, common causes and red flags for speech delay, and what to do if you’re concerned.
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Find a speech therapistWhat causes a speech delay?
Often, several factors contribute to delays in a child’s language and speech development. Understanding the root cause of a speech delay is the first step to knowing how to help your child. Here are the most common causes of speech delay:
Oral impairment
Many kids with speech delays have oral-motor problems, which are related to issues in the areas of the brain responsible for speech. An oral impairment makes it hard to coordinate the lips, tongue, and jaw to make speech sounds. These children also might have other oral-motor issues, such as feeding problems that may require feeding therapy.
Developmental speech and language disorder
Some speech and language disorders involve brain function and may reflect a learning disability. Your child may have trouble making speech sounds, using spoken language to communicate, or understanding what other people are saying. Speech and language problems are often the earliest signs of a learning disability.
Hearing loss
A toddler who can’t hear well, or who hears distorted speech, is likely to have difficulty forming words. Sometimes recurrent ear infections are to blame. Hearing loss is often overlooked, but the good thing is it’s also easily identified.
One sign of hearing loss is that your child doesn’t look at an object when you say its name, but they do if you use a gesture, like pointing. However, signs of hearing loss may be very subtle. Sometimes a speech or language delay may be the only noticeable sign. A speech therapist will often recommend starting with a hearing screening.
Autism spectrum disorder
Speech, language, and communication problems are often some of the first signs of autism. In addition to other developmental delays, autistic children may have a hard time communicating. They may struggle to understand social language. Sometimes they are also late talkers, or they use repetitive speech patterns, such as echolalia (repeating words or phrases they’ve heard).
Neurological problems
Certain neurological problems, such as cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, and traumatic brain injury, can affect the muscles and motor skills needed for speaking. These neurological issues can cause children to have difficulty controlling their mouth, tongue, and lips to form clear speech.
No known cause
Expressable speech therapist Sydney Nygaard, M.S., CCC-SLP, says that sometimes the cause of a speech delay isn’t known. “Children develop skills at different rates, and some kids simply develop speech and language abilities more slowly.”
Did I cause my child’s speech delay?
There are situations in which neglect, abuse, or traumatic experiences can cause a speech delay. But the short answer is no: In an attentive home where children are engaged with and cared for, speech problems aren’t caused by parents or caregivers. That’s the case no matter how many children you have, and whether or not your child is in daycare, attends preschool, or is homeschooled.
However, while caregivers don’t cause speech delay, there may be things they unknowingly do that keep a child’s speech from progressing as well as it could. Small changes in the way you interact with your child could make a big difference in your child’s growth!
4 parenting habits that can affect your child’s speech development
While Nygaard reinforces that parents typically do not cause speech delays, she suggests watching for these four common habits, which can affect how your child develops speech and language:
1 Talking for your child
When kids aren’t talking much yet, it’s easy for others to talk for them. Sometimes we may not give our child the chance to answer questions, like what they want to eat or wear. We just don’t ask them! Or maybe the child is asked a question, but those around them, like caregivers and siblings, assume they need to speak for the child.
Nygaard says, “No matter the situation, not giving your child the chance to talk does not support language development. Your child is learning that they can get what they need by having someone else speak for them.”
It takes a lot of practice for children to learn how to use words for functional purposes, like asking for something. So every chance we give them to do this helps them grow these skills! Early on, they may not always answer or respond, but the important thing is that you give them the chance. Over time, they'll learn what to say and begin to respond appropriately.
2 Not reading books together
Our daily schedules are often packed. It can be easy to forget to take a few minutes to read with your child. But those minutes matter. One study revealed that when parents read just one book a day to their kiddo, by the time that child entered kindergarten, they’d heard a total of 1.4 million more words than kids who weren’t read to.
Reading with your child helps them improve their vocabulary, learn how to create sentences, and learn how to follow the order of stories. It’s important to read with your child every day, if possible.
To set up a reading routine, pick a time of day when your child is likely to settle down with you. The early evening is a great choice. Your child may be more likely to snuggle up after a long day. Right before naptime is another option that works well for some toddlers.
Try letting your child pick out the book, or choose books with topics and pictures they’re interested in. The more your child likes the book, the more they will absorb.
3 Letting your child use screens too often
It’s tempting to hand kids a phone or tablet for some quiet time, but too much screen time can affect speech development. When kids are glued to screens, they miss out on valuable opportunities to interact, play, and join in conversation—key activities that promote language growth.
Research shows that excessive screen time, especially before age 1, can increase the risk of language delays. For example, kids who watched too much TV each day were six times more likely to develop a language delay.
Parenting can be tiring and overwhelming at times. It’s easy to fall into the habit of using screens as a distraction. When you do turn on the TV or a tablet, try to sit with your child and watch. Comment on what you see, and ask them questions about what’s on screen. This makes screen time more “active,” which is better for language growth.
Is your child on track?
Take our free screener to learn more about your child's development and whether a speech evaluation is recommended.
Screener for children4 Not talking to your child frequently
Nygaard says it’s one of the most important—and easiest—things you can do with your child: “Talk to them often, even if they can’t yet respond with words.” Children soak up speech and language by hearing it. If the house is quiet all day long, who are they learning language from? You are the perfect person to help them learn the basics!
You can do this in a few ways. One is to simply narrate what you’re doing together. You may tell your child something like, “I’m getting your lunch ready. I cut up your bananas. I’m pouring your water. Yum! It’s time to eat!”
You can also pause in the conversation in case your child responds. You can say things like, “Are you ready to go to the park?” or “Let’s go get in the car!” Pause and wait. See if your child responds in any way. It can be a word or even an excited squeal! As you start to use these techniques, watch for your child to begin communicating more often, and in more advanced ways, than they currently are.
What is a red flag for speech delay?
There are different signs of a speech delay, and they often vary by age. But here are the top red flags for speech delay to watch for:
Not learning or using new words
Between ages 18 and 30 months, toddlers should be growing in their language development by regularly using new words. They should also be starting to string words together to make simple phrases, like "I want milk!," or to ask questions, such as "Where's Mommy?" If you don’t hear your child saying new words often, this may be a sign of a speech or language delay.
Difficulty imitating or producing sounds
Watch how easily your child imitates sounds, or even makes their own sounds. Babies should begin babbling between 6 and 9 months old, with their verbal skills continuing to progress.
At around 9 to 12 months, you should see your baby starting to imitate environmental sounds or animal sounds, like "vroom vroom!" or "woof woof!"
By age 1, your toddler's imitation skills should be improving even more. One-year-olds typically try to repeat sounds, and even some words, after you.
Frustration when trying to communicate
It's normal for young children to have some frustration when trying to say what they want to. They're learning how to talk, after all! But this frustration usually isn't frequent or severe, and you should be able to understand your child at least some of the time.
If your child often ends up in tears or throws fits when they're trying to tell you something, this is a strong sign of a speech delay. Imagine not being able to communicate when you want something to eat or drink, or if you need help. That would make anyone upset.
3 ways to support your child’s speech and language at home
No matter the cause of your child’s speech delay, there are ways you can help them improve. In addition to reading together and limiting screens, here are three more things you can start doing today.
1 Talk to your child, even if they don’t yet respond
As we've mentioned, one easy thing you can do is talk to your child often and model new vocabulary words. “Modeling” simply means using those words in front of your child. Kids need to hear language and be engaged in conversation. Even if you don’t think your child will respond to you, talk to them anyway!
You can also model conversations with other family members in front of your child. Kids pick up new words and learn how to have a back-and-forth conversation by watching others.
2 Play with your child
Playing together an important way to help your child with speech and language development. Here are two examples:
Playing with a baby doll: Your child can practice naming body parts or saying things like “baby is sleeping” or “night night.”
Playing with toy cars: Your child can make sounds (“vroom!” “beep beep!”) and act out pretend scenarios, such as a race between your car and theirs. Simple phrases like “Ready, set, go!” can help a child learn to use words for a purpose. When they hear or say the word “go,” they know that it means to push the car!
Cause and effect is a huge part of communication, and it’s also a big part of play. If a child pulls a block out of the tower, it's going to fall. If they push the button on the toy, it will make a noise. Similarly, if you tell someone what you need, you can get something in return. Play is an amazing way for kids to learn this concept of cause and effect.
3 Practice speech at your child’s level
It’s important to have realistic expectations for your child. A child who isn’t talking won’t suddenly start using sentences. Think of speech development as a ladder: Kids need to climb up one rung at a time.
If your child isn’t yet talking, and they don’t make gestures to express what they want, start with teaching them to point or make other gestures.
If your child is using some words, you can focus on teaching functional words. Functional words are ones that can easily express a want or a need, such as more, please, help, eat, and drink.
How do you know if your child needs speech therapy?
If you think your child is behind in their communication development, talk to your pediatrician about speech therapy. Nygaard says, “It’s much better to get questions answered sooner rather than later. Earlier intervention leads to more positive outcomes!”
You can also take our free online screener, which has questions tailored by age. You’ll get guidance on how well your child is meeting milestones and whether a speech evaluation is recommended. Or, if you’re ready to find a speech therapist and schedule an evaluation, you can get matched here.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Can parents cause a speech delay?
In rare circumstances of abuse, neglect, or traumatic experiences, a caregiver may be the cause of speech delay. But generally speaking, parents do not cause speech delays.
What is the most common cause of speech delay?
Common causes of speech delay include oral-motor impairments, developmental speech and language disorders, hearing loss, autism, and neurological problems. Sometimes the cause is unknown.
When should you worry about a speech delay?
If your toddler isn’t regularly learning or using new words, has difficulty imitating sounds, or is often frustrated when trying to communicate, they may benefit from speech therapy. You can take our simple online screener to see if a speech evaluation is recommended. The earlier speech therapy begins, the faster you’ll see progress.
Key takeaways
Parents typically do not cause speech delays.
There are things you can do at home to promote speech and language development, such as giving your child chances to communicate, talking to them often, reading books together, and cutting back on screen time.
Red flags for speech delay include a child that is not learning or using new words, has difficulty making sounds, or is often frustrated when trying to communicate.
If you think your child may have a speech delay, contact your pediatrician or a speech therapist for an evaluation.
How Expressable Can Help
Concerned your child isn't reaching age-expected milestones? Looking for communication support from a professional? Expressable is a national online speech therapy practice serving children and adults. We treat all major areas of communication and feeding, offer flexible hours including evenings and weekends, and accept most major health insurance plans. We’re proud to have earned more than 3,000 5-star reviews from our clients (4.9/5 average).
Our therapy model is centered on parent and caregiver involvement. Research proves that empowering caregivers to participate in their loved one’s therapy leads to better outcomes. That’s why we combine live, 1-on-1 speech therapy with personalized education and home practice activities for faster progress.
Communication is more than words. It’s how we share how we feel and show who we are. We’re here to help you or your child do just that.
